A right Royal biopsy

Tara was sent for a kidney biopsy on the 22nd January 2013. On the 23rd of January 2013 Prince Edward was visiting the University to open the new leisure centre and on the 22nd Sarah was coordinating a gala dinner on his behalf with the best and finest of Leicester in attendance. This is the scene in which we set our play. Note: it was heavily snowing if anyone remembers this.

The biopsy was quite important as it was this procedure that would determine the cause of Tara's kidney disease. It involved a very early start, a jab with a very large needle and a lot of lying down. The day got off to a good start. Sarah drove Tara to the hospital in William* to make sure she got there ok (on time). Tara had very sensibly loaded her ipad up with films to watch and was settled into the ward before 7.30am ready to undergo the much anticipated biopsy. Sarah left her there with a promise to see her later and headed off into work via the snow laden roads.

In hospital Tara laid in the bed. She watched Salt, she listened to some Eric Clapton whilst the nurse sharpened her needle. The woman in the next bed came back from her biopsy and drowned out 'Homes Under the Hammer' on the hospital TV set wailing about the pain and demanding paracetamol. Tara was wheeled down to the treatment room in her bed, she has since asked if this is something that she could do more often; be wheeled places in her 'beddy'. In the treatment room she received an injection of anaesthesia and then the Doctor inserted a biopsy needle into her left kidney. They took two samples the first one didn't hurt at all, the second one was a bit sore but Tara said as long as you didn't think about the fact they are scooping a bit of your internal organ there is definitely no reason to drown out Homes Under the Hammer with your moaning. After the procedure Tara was wheeled back onto the ward and given strict instructions to lie flat and not move for four hours.

Meanwhile back at the University Sarah was not lying flat on her back for four hours. She was running around checking seating plans and guest lists and paperwork. Making final touches to plinths and speeches. Checking that in the leisure centre there was water in the pool. Checking that the sports teams were not going to wear their home training kits which said 'abolish the monarchy' on the back of their shirts (she wishes that was a joke). She did manage to send the odd text to check on the patient whilst briefing the film crew and watching out of the window as the flakes quickened and the snow came down in earnest.

By 5.30pm Tara was due to come home from the hospital. Sarah was still at work - Gala dinner due to start at 7pm on the dot. Now Sarah knows what it feels like to come out of a long term relationship and not have the person you always relied on to pick you up from things like work dos and kidney biopsies. She knows Tara quite well even though they have not known each other for that long and she knows that what Tara will want is a friendly face and a hug. So, she tells her colleagues at work that she needs to pop out for half an hour, 45 minutes at most and that she'll be back before they even notice she is gone. She grabs her dress for the evening do and a lipstick and fires up William. The snow is coming down thick and fast now and the drive from the university to the hospital is not fun or quick as the rush hour traffic builds, full of people who turn back into learner drivers at the first sign of a snowflake. Sarah nearly makes contact with a bus, a cyclist and a man walking his ferret. She screeches into the hospital at just gone 6pm on two wheels just in time to catch Tara coming out of the main entrance - result.

Tara is currently between residences and is staying in a shared house. So back to this gaff they headed. Tara safely ensconced on the couch with a cup of tea and her feet up. Sarah half out of her work trousers and half into her dress hopping around a strange living room. It was then she got the text. The text from the Royal household to say that the Prince was not going to be able to make it on account of the weather and him coming in by helicopter. It was 6.30pm. Sarah was half in, half out of a frock (not something she likes much anyway) and about to support her university to host a dinner for 80 guests in honour of an event that would now not be taking place. Leaving Tara on the sofa Sarah got back on her trusted steed (William) safely navigating the snow back to the university where the guests were arriving. As sparkling wine and fine beef taste better when you think you are at a dinner for a reason the announcement was saved until the petite fours and coffees had been served. Then came the task of unwinding an event less than 12 hours before it was due to take place - cancelling guests, writing press releases, draining the swimming pool of water. It was all unpicked, all sorted at 2am Sarah sat upright in bed remembering the film crew she had forgotten about in the Premier Inn.

She text Tara to see how she was feeling. She didn't get a reply, the patient was clearly sleeping. In the morning Tara replied to the text. Thank you she said, it really meant so much to me to see you yesterday and to have a smiley face and a hug when I came out of hospital. Sarah smiled - well worth it. Although she does feel to this day Prince Edward owes her one.**

* William was Sarah's car. He had over 200,000 miles on the clock (petrol engine) a slack bumper that fell off sporadically always at the wrong moments and a CD stuck in it's player that would only play the B side of 'Pop there goes the 90s' to this day Sarah has no idea how this got stuck in there. Plus the temperature gauge was broken recording the inside of the car temperature at a consistantly balmy 37 degrees.

**Prince Edward did visit the University on the 7th June 2013 to open the leisure centre and it all went off without a hitch or a snowflake.