How much for your kidney?

A question I am often is asked as a live donor is why; why would you want to give someone one of your own organs? Love? Stupidity? Guilt? A need to feel you are giving something back? Probably all of these things play a factor and it is definitely something that is worth some thought, esepcially if it is something you are thinking of doing yourself.

Sometimes I catch Tara doing something out of the corner of my eye; stroking the dog, laughing at something funny on Facebook or the TV, standing in the supermarket trying to make a decision about which beans to buy* and I am overcome by just how much I love this wonderful being. Tara is such a kind and loving person - I think I once described her to her mum as a 'complete joy' and we both agreed this summed her up quite nicely - at the time she may well have been rescuing a sparrow with a broken wing, careful creating a hospital bed out of a disused cat food box (the irony was not lost on her) and trying to make the hurt bird as comfortable as possible in its final hours. Tara is always rescuing things dogs, sparrows, people who are lost. She never fails to surprise me with just how far her compassion goes. Don't get me wrong she is not without fault and like any normal couple she drives me mad on occasion when she is half listening to me because she is replying to a text or when she forgets to empty all the bins upstairs before putting the wheelie bin out, but these are mere trifles in what is a person of general awesomeness and a person who makes the planet better to be on. As her partner I want Tara to be well, to be as healthy as she can be and to have a full and happy life. I love her as my partner and I love us as a couple. I love everything she has given me; music, more patience, homemade spaghetti carbonara. She has been the greatest permission giver in my life, helping me to understand myself better and to like myself better! All of these reasons are why Tara is my girlfriend but not why I am giving her a kidney.

I am not giving her a kidney as my girlfriend - I hope that her and I will be together for years (definitely till we are of an age where we look forward to an episode of the Antiques Roadshow) as I think we have found something in each other that makes us both incredibly happy, but the realist (rather than the romantic) in me knows that relationships can break down for many reasons and at any time. So, I cannot give Tara a kidney as my girlfriend because if she was no longer my girlfriend anymore I'm not so sure how I would feel about that. It's not like the PS4 or the toaster which you can argue over and allocate accordingly if you split up**. It's not something you give saying forever and meaning 'until you start to annoy me/break up with me/find someone else' it's the real forever, the forever that can't be undone. So, I cannot give Tara a kidney as my girlfriend as a romantic gesture - I give Tara a kidney quite simply because right now she needs it more than I do.

* actually this one isn't quite true as mainly in supermarkets we behave like most couples do, we start acting out our own little meltdown scenario. Supermarkets are awful places and I would wager money that they have split up many a couple who have realised that they are simply incompatible based on their respective choices in cereal.

** I'm getting the PS4